Saturday, November 5, 2011

A Guide to Being Yourself by Jennifer Louden

I absolutely adore Jennifer Louden. She is right up there with Anne Lamott and Brene Brown. She makes it all simple, real, doable, imperfect. This is from an email today about simply being ourselves, which you would think was the easiest thing to be in the whole wide world. Yet so many of us struggle. Here's her take. Savor!
1. Dedicate yourself to wholeness. Perfection appears to be a much sexier partner but is actually a demon lover who will suck you dry and leave you bitter and broken.
2. Acknowledge what you experience and how you feel. It’s not about you being right and someone else being wrong, it’s about claiming your experience. It’s your experience and seeing it, feeling it, sitting with it, helps make you you.
3. Healthy desire birthed all of creation. Let it birth you, again and again. Being yourself springs from knowing what you want.
4. Healthy desire is never about perfection (outcome). It is about going deeper than your mood, deeper than your stories of what is allowed or possible, into the sensations and energy of desire itself, and letting that move you into inspired action.
5. Healthy desire is the source from which you renew your commitment to what matters most to you. Acting on that commitment will mean constantly unfurling into the unknown. The sooner you make peace with doing that (yes imperfectly which means people will be pissed off at you) the more energy you will have for adventure!
6. Every time you say “I can’t because…” you are giving your power away to someone or something else, which is giving yourself away. Power is a foundational spiritual quality. Pretending that you don’t have power or that you are not responsible for your life is the quickest way to hell. Trust me on this one.
7. Have practices that help you open your heart, love yourself, and witness your thoughts and reactions. Because here’s the hysterical truth: there really isn’t a separate self to be and that is the most delicious discovery of all.
8. Waste no time guarding the self you are forever becoming. It’s one thing to have strong boundaries and another to jealously guard your heart.
9. There is no destination. There is nothing to fix. No I to dot, no test score to achieve, no number in your bank account that says, “I’m done! I did it! I’m me!”
There is only this – rice crackers crumbs, cold tea, sun streaming through kitchen window, beating heart, time for a stretch.
Catch more of Jennifer's kindness and wisdom at: